Eleanor Mae

So, if you've kept up with me this long, you know I have 4 dogs. Each one has a completely different personality and is around for a different reason.

Eleanor Mae is my Boston Terrier. She's a three year old seal brindle (seal means she looks black in dim light and red in sunlight, it's very fashionable.) with pretty markings. She's awesome. Here's her adorable mug.



She's very cute and very serious.

She gets more offended by baths than any other dog I've ever known.



Why did I have to get a bath? I didn't do anything wrong this week.

Ellie loves her tennis balls and to pull the squeakers out of Cuz toys (which I don't mind, they are annoying anyway). She is so in tune to what's going on that when I talk for her, she often looks the correct direction and acts as if I am talking for her. It is very cute.

Don't let that adorable face fool you though. She has a dark addiction to eating poop. Forget all the remedies you've ever heard of, the girl just wants to munch some dooks. She's in rehab right now for the third time this month. Sometimes I catch her eating hair and she says it's her methadone.

Even though she's a poop addict, there is something about this dog that is magical. She charms the pants off of everyone who meets her. She's soft, she's squishy, and she just has IT. I have a tattoo of her face, I wear a necklace with her name on it, and I carry her picture everywhere but it never feels like enough. That pup is an extension of me. She is well-mannered and awesome. My dad threatens to steal her, as does everyone else who meets her. It's hard not to love her though, she is very polite and loves to sneak kisses.

I guess she's my heart dog. I love everything about her. She taught me everything I know about being a good dog owner and being a good person. She gave me something to live for when my world was falling apart. She was my reason to smile when everything else made me cry. She is a great ambassador for her breed and for dogs in general, because she makes every person she meets into a dog person.

My favorite Ellie story is from when I first got her. I took her to my parents' house so my family could meet her. My sister came running down the hall to see her (she was sitting in my lap) and Ellie turned, looked at her, and promptly threw up. Awesome. It's hard to find a dog with a better sense of humor.

I named her Eleanor Mae when I was driving home with her. I was holding her like a baby and softly whispering to her that she was my baby. The person who was with me reminded me that I would not be happy if I named her Baby. Right as I was conceding that he was probably right, the song "Eleanor" by The Low Millions came on. The chorus says "I won't call you Baby anymore, Eleanor" and so it was.

She's around because she keeps me in check. It's hard to be depressed when there is a dog softly snoring next to you. She snuggles like a mug, too. She's my little couch commander and always ready for a walk. She's the first dog that ever felt like MY dog.



Join us later when we discuss the next addition...

Dogs Are a Part of the Family.

If you read my blog and find me more funny than crazy, you probably agree with that sentiment. Dogs are a part of the family, although I don't honestly see them as a replacement for my children, or people in general. They have different needs and they are, after all, animals.

I understand that all a dog really needs is water, food, and shelter. That's all any of us needs, although we're on this strange clothing kick. If you ever have the pleasure of calling Animal Control to report a neglected animal, I'm sorry to tell you, as long as he has food, water, and shelter, they're unlikely to do anything about it. There might be laws about dogs on chains, and you might get lucky that way, but for the most part, that's the big three. Outside dogs break my heart. You know the ones, they bark when you walk by, almost pleading for attention, they're without manners and socialization and almost seem like wild animals. They are not loved and cherished members of their families.

So, then, what does a dog require? Beyond the silly outfits and the designer leashes, what do they need? When someone says their dog is spoiled, and their dog is missing out on one of these basics, my heart goes out to that dog.

A dog requires good food. I'll go into this in more detail at some point, but suffice to say, if you can buy it at the grocery store, it's probably not good food. You eat something other than McDonald's, give your dog good nutrition too. His coat will shine, his muscles will grow, and he will be a healthier, all around better dog for it.

Dogs need to see the vet. There are different schools of thought on the vaccination schedules a dog should be on, but the fact still remains, your dog and the vet should be on a first name basis. She needs to go once a year for a heartworm test, at the very least. I don't care what you've been told or heard, all dogs need a heartworm test once a year and they need preventative. Some places don't require the preventative year round, but follow your vet's advice on that. The vet can see things you might miss about your dog's health and he's a pretty good person to have on your side. He is also the only one who can spay or neuter your dog. You have all spayed and neutered your dogs, right?

Dogs require training and socialization. Trained dogs get to go places that an untrained dog wouldn't be accepted. Trained dogs are easier to live with. Trained dogs don't end up in shelters for very long. Socialized dogs are more fun to be around, no one likes to be around a dog that doesn't like to be around them. They also get to have more fun with other dogs and who doesn't like that!

Dogs need exercise. Going outside to take a pee isn't exactly exercise. Running around the yard isn't, either. Games of fetch, obedience, hide and seek, and the old standard of walks wear your dog out, which makes him easier to live with and happier, too. Fat dogs die early and are prone to a lot of diseases and illnesses that rarely plague thin dogs.

Dogs need to be groomed. Don't let your dog get full of fleas and mats, have long nails, or have dirty ears and poop stuck to him because you're lazy or don't think he needs it. My dogs all are on different grooming schedules, but they get baths once a week, and their nails done. Bella the Poodle gets brushed every day, Brody the Golden Retriever gets brushed every other day, and Ellie the Boston Terrier and Pug the Pug need a good brushing twice a week. It's more than looking good, well-groomed dogs shed less, smell better, and their owners are more likely to notice cuts, scrapes, and lumps before they are a problem. Dogs with well trimmed nails are less likely to become arthritic.

Dogs need love. I know it's been said a thousand ways, but dogs need you to love on them. They live for those pats on the head, make out sessions, and hugs. They need you to tell them what they do that's good so they can keep doing it. They want you to be happy!

That's really not that much of a commitment, right? You do most of that with yourself, you go to the doctor and you brush your hair and bathe. You are nice to other people (I hope!) and you generally behave appropriately in social situations. Give your dog those same tools!

The dogs outside, barking for attention when I walk by, they aren't getting this kind of treatment. Don't leave your dogs outside. Let them come inside and warm up or cool off. Give them a nice place to sleep, and most importantly, keep them healthy and happy. Make them part of the family. You'd be surprised what a good companion a dog makes!

Pick Up Your Damn Poop.

Few things bother me more than someone not picking up after their dog. I won't get into hyperbole, but I can't think of anything in my daily life that bothers me more.

When I am out walking my dogs, I always carry the brightest colored (biodegradable!) bags I can find. When I am out walking, I want everyone to know that I pick up after my pets. I pick up the huge quarter pounders Brody pinches off, and the little Tootsie Rolls that Bella ever so daintily drops when she feels the need. I always try to carry the bags with me after I've used them so people will see them, and know that I did not leave the giant, steamy pile that is sitting on the curb and attracting flies.

I don't understand why more people won't follow my lead.

Poop is disgusting, but it needs to be talked about. I don't want to touch it, smell it, or find it on the bottom of my shoes. I'm not asking for pet owners to pick it up with their teeth, wipe it on their hands, or keep it for show and tell. I'm just asking them to take responsibility for their pets so a child doesn't end up touching poop and getting sick, or Heaven forbid blinded from roundworms. It's just part of pet ownership.

Pet supply manufacturers understand the responsibility and they also understand the inconvenience of carrying a bunch of bags and trying to fumble around with them and leashes. They also understand that it does not look terribly adorable to have a walmart bag tied to your belt loop. So they have solutions.

Look at how cute this bag is! You put your roll of bags in the little dispenser, attach it to your leash, your purse, or your belt loop and LOOK AT YOU! You are responsible and fashionable. What is more awesome than that?



These ones have diamonds and matching bags! Fashion! They attach to just about anything and don't require you to bring a fanny pack when you walk (unless you like your fanny pack, which in that case, be who you are!)

Mine has little skulls and crossbones. I ordered it about two years ago and never regretted it. I loved it so much that I bought my dad a camouflage one, and a back-up one for myself that became my boyfriend's bag. It has white skulls on it. Very manly.


They make the bags themselves in all different colors and prints and sizes. They're biodegradable and sanitary.

Once, I was taking Brody and Ellie for a walk, and they had both pooped along the way and I had used the bag I brought. Pretty routine for a normal walk. I am a ninja and can scoop two dooks in one bag. I forgot my dispenser and didn't think anything of it because I was in a rush to get them home and go to dinner or something equally unimportant. About 4 blocks from my house, there is a nice sit down restaurant with outdoor seating, which we always walk by. Ellie must have been just overcome with the smell of food or the chance to embarrass her mother (both?) and popped a squat right there. I thought she was on empty! I became Poop Maguyver at this point and decided to try and get the poop with whatever was handy. I found a piece of paper and a trash can near by, so I scooped the poo up with the paper and tossed it into the trash. Everyone at the restaurant clapped, and I laughed the whole way home. (It should be noted that I usually don't condone throwing poop in the trash cans of others, we're trying NOT to be rude here, but this was a desperate time.) I went from being an obnoxious girl with too many dogs to a socially responsible person in an instant.

So next time you are out walking your dogs, bring some bags and pick up after them. It's the cool thing to do. It helps ensure that dogs are allowed in parks, on the sidewalks, and that dog owners are looked upon favorably. It's also the hygienic thing to do.

Good Oral Hygiene.

I don't like anesthesia. I don't like it for myself, so I certainly don't like it for my dogs. They're all spayed and neutered, and it was a trial when we had to go through it, because I was convinced my dogs would be the one of the thousands of dogs that are neutered every day to die. They all lived.

Dental cleanings are done while dogs are under. This doesn't sit very well with me, so every day, I brush all my dogs' teeth.

I started off with normal brushes and doggie toothpaste that was flavored like bacon or something like that. The problem with this was that they had terrible breath afterward. Meat breath is not my favorite.

CET makes a vanilla mint toothpaste. Why don't more companies make minty or vanilla toothpastes? Or cupcakes or something? Those are things that I like my dog's breath to smell like. Bubblegum, cotton candy (someone could be making a mint!), even peanut butter would be marginally better. So thank you, CET, for making a delicious toothpaste.

I switched to battery operated toothbrushes and my whole life changed forever. HOLY crap! Not only is it hilarious, because I'm a crazy dog lady using mechanical brushes on my dogs, but it works a million times better! The dogs don't mind it, because I laugh and act like we are having great fun doing it. It is fun and it's hilarious.

I'm sort of an advocate for dog dental health. I feel like a hobo if I don't brush my teeth every day, so I'm sure my dogs do too. Nice breath makes for better kisses, and for cuter smiles too.

When clients come in and we get talking about brushing teeth, everyone laughs at me for being the crazy dog lady and brushing my dogs' teeth every day. They usually tell me that they can't remember to do it every day, or that their dog hates it. If you can remember to brush your own teeth, you can remember to brush your dog's teeth! Do it at the same time! Most dogs can learn to love it. You're putting something that tastes good in their mouths! Laugh about it, have a good time doing it. Act like it is literally the most fun you can have with a toothbrush.

This isn't funny, and I'm sorry. I have to get on my soapbox about it though. Brush their teeth and then kiss them on the mouth.

Testing, Testing...

I have 4 dogs. I am that crazy woman you sometimes see dressed like a hobo with 4 tangled leashes all attached to different breeds of dogs, with poop bags and not a trash can in sight.

I don't exactly know how I ended up with 4 dogs. I started grooming dogs after high school, because it seemed pretty easy, and since I don't care for dealing with people, it was a great choice. Seven years later, I think it I'm stuck with it. Anyways, in this time, I met a lot of different types of dogs. I didn't have a dog of my own (I did have my parents' Cairn Terrier, but she is a story of her own) so I decided to get one. Then two. Then so on. They all have long stories, but this is their abridged version.

I found the newspaper ad for the Boston Terrier puppies almost immediately. The woman said she had rescued the male and female from her mother in law, and they had accidentally been bred. Whether this is true or not wasn't really a big deal to me, so I went to look at her puppies. I wanted a nice, big Boston Terrier, because they didn't need too much grooming and seemed to be generally nice dogs. I brought home the fattest puppy there.



I was OBSESSED almost immediately. Look at the fatness of her face and the cuteness of her toes. Smitten. I named her Eleanor Mae and she was my little companion.

After some time and issues passed, Ellie was an only child, save one boyfriend and one cat. I told the boyfriend I wanted another dog. He was pretty cool with this idea. So, I scoured petfinder, because I was now educated about the evils of backyard breeders and puppy mills. I found this terrified toy poodle at a shelter near my parents' house.



That's her after I got her cleaned up. Isabella Jade the toy poodle. She was terrified of everything and kind of mean. Now she's apprehensive and slightly aloof.

Then, my boyfriend decided he wanted a dog. He acquired a pug puppy. She is a creature who likes her tongue petted, poops out of spite, and eats leaves.

She's gross.

I decided somewhere along the way that I wanted a big dog. I had several awesome reasons and enough arguments to win the case, and I got a Golden Retriever, Chief Brody.


I assume his pic is bigger because he is a bigger dog.

Sometime after having all four of them in my house, I realized that this is not the norm. Normal people don't have to buy over a hundred dollars worth of dog food, or pick up three different dogs' vomit, or do "poop patrol" at least twice a week, and to normal people, my life is insane. So there you have it. That's my pack and this will be our story.